The Birth of Pert Pegasus & Cookies
Thousands of years ago, Poseidon, my OG aquaman father, and Medusa, my beautiful don’t-look-at-me-directly-in-the-eyes mother, made babies. I don’t know the gory details of conception, nor do I care to…cause Ewe! Those are my parents!
On my actual birthday, my mom was beheaded by the showoff warrior Perseus. (Thanks Hydra head! I didn’t even get to ask her if it was ok that I get an iPhone! Geez!) On that fateful bloodbath of a birthday, one glorious daughter (me, Pert Pegasus) sprang forth from her soaking neck, with two other baby boys (Chrysaor and Pegasus, or as I like to refer them as, “Cr-ASS-or” & “Peg-ASS-us”). No one ever even saw me, because as I emerged, a bright piercing light blinding the entire land of the living with my exquisite beauty.
Upon my birth, my first thought was, “What is that heavenly smell?” I could only imagine the tempting mana that must have been carried by the wind from far-off lands. So, off I flew, away from those weirdos that I call family, throughout the pages of time, to discover where the scent of the gods was leading my hypersensitive snout. Upon my arrival to the home of the most enchanting scent, I discovered that my optimistic journey ended in a quaint place known to humans as a “bakery”.
As I entered the bakery, I deeply inhaled the delicious scent of fresh-baked something. I looked around and was surprised to find myself in front of a case that was labeled “cookies”. With great delight, I deeply inhaled and asked the bewildered maiden behind the counter what that enchanting scent was. She dully responded, “You mean the chocolate chip cookies?” I was completely filled with desire and longing, and I begged to try one. Well, actually, I ate what she referred to as a “baker’s dozen,” which to my astonishment actually means twelve cookies plus one extra, free cookie. Of course, meaning that I got it ON SALE! YESSS!
Anyway, I decided right there and then, that my first mission in life (literally, it was the first thing that I ever did…cause priorities!) was to search the land, high and low, for the best damn cookie on earth, or at least in the DFW area, since that is currently where I reside. See my latest picks of orgasmic top ten chocolate chip cookies.
